The Letters from Roscoe

The Sinner’s Prayer

If it had been anybody but Brother Eddie they would probably think I was nuts.

Yesterday at Men’s Breakfast I told everyone how I felt that I was saved and that I knew I had Jesus in my heart.

A little more than twenty four hours later, I am at the altar asking Brother Eddie to lead me through ‘The Sinner’s Prayer’.  I know.  It doesn’t make sense does it?

On both occasions I was honest and sincere.  So why would I profess my salvation one day and then request this of Eddie the next?

I was saved and baptized when I was eleven.  At that time I felt the quiet voice inside of me saying that I needed to go to the altar during the invitation and I listened and obeyed.  I don’t recall what was said by the preacher once I went to the altar that day.  But I remember a short time later I was baptized.

Back then I don’t remember anyone talking about ‘being saved’ and I didn’t feel different either.  I didn’t go to Church regularly and eventually I didn’t go at all.  Once I graduated high school and joined the Navy I really paid no attention to God.  I won’t say I was an atheist, but I did at one time profess to be agnostic.  Fast forward almost forty years and I come to Highland Park as a ‘jaded believer’.

After I started attending the Men’s Prayer Breakfasts I began to try harder to pray and read the Word and learn more about Jesus and the Bible.  One day I was driving up to Watauga Lake for a job and I was praying out loud in the car as I drove down the interstate. 

That day I prayed ‘my own sinner’s prayer’ and I poured out my heart to God and repented of all my sin.  I prayed for Jesus to come into my heart and help me to live a better life with him.

And I believe He did.

Every once in a while though I would have doubts about my salvation. Was ‘my own prayer’ good enough?  Did someone else need to hear it?  Had I said everything that I needed to say?  All kinds of questions would run through my mind from time to time.

But today, when it came near to the time of invitation, I felt that Brother Eddie was delivering a message meant for me.  I heard ‘it’ and I felt the need to go to the altar and ask him to help me with this prayer.  In fact as others went down the altar to pray, I went down too.  I prayed for God to use me.  I prayed for God to give me the strength and the courage to stand up and testify for Him.  I even began to pray ‘my own’ sinner’s prayer again.  But then I stopped short and went back to my seat.

And then I heard Brother Eddie make the invitation again.  AGAIN!

And AGAIN I arose and went towards the altar.  Only this time I went straight to Brother Eddie and in a voice cracking with emotion I asked him to lead me through ‘The Sinner’s Prayer’ and he did.  He led me through sentence by sentence, he would speak and I would repeat it.  I could feel Brother Eddie’s hands on my shoulders, and the hands of others on my back as they helped pray for me.  At the end, he asked me if I wanted to follow it up with Believer’s baptism and I said no, he asked if I had been doubting my salvation, and I had to answer “Yes”.

But I shouldn’t anymore!  That is one doubt that the devil will no longer be able to use against me.  Because I know Jesus lives in my heart and that this time ‘The Sinner’s Prayer’ was the real deal!

Was I saved before?  I believe so.  I know I am a different person than I used to be.  My values have changed.  The things I thought important before no longer matter.

Did I need to go down to the altar this morning?  Absolutely.

The spirit was speaking to me. 

Clearly.  Specifically.  I had to respond.

And I did.