It’s Right There . . .

It’s right there  . . .

Howdy everyone.  Long time no see, no hear, no talk, no nothing.

I’ve been on a self-imposed hiatus from writing more of the Letters from Roscoe.  Some of it because I got a case of ‘cabeza grande’, some of it because lately I’ve been having a contest of wills with the Lord.

Actually, to put the last one more plainly let’s just say I’ve been ‘Muy loco en la cabeza!”

Sorry.  If you don’t understand the Spanish I’ll translate for you.  I got a ‘big head’ (cabeza) from people telling me that they enjoy these letters.  Then that led me to being ‘crazy in the head’ (muy loco) because I thought I knew enough to start preaching to people when I don’t have a clue myself.  I mean when it comes to the Bible; I am still at the beginner level!

So to put it all together I have been ‘muy loco en la gigante’ cabeza!!!’

Still not getting it?  I have been very crazy in my big head!!!

So I am going to try to get back to what I was originally supposed to be doing.  Talking about me, about ‘my’ experiences as a ‘Christian in Training’

So here you go.

I’ve been resisting the Lord lately.  I haven’t been praying.  I haven’t been reading scripture, I have basically been rebelling.  Why?  I couldn’t even begin to say.  I just have.

Cindy says that I just need to pray my way through it.  That’s hard to do when you haven’t been praying to begin with.

So what’s the problem?  I don’t know for sure.  I feel I ‘know’ these three things; that I love the Lord my God, that the Holy Spirit lives within me and that I am saved.

But I still just can’t seem to fully submit to God’s will.  I’m too smart right?  I know better . . . (Remember?  Cabeza Grande?)  I keep fighting God’s will.  I keep questioning things and thinking that ‘I’ know better.  (I mean all he did was create everything and give me all the good things that I have in my life.  Like I could do better?  I can’t even make my Raisin Bran in the morning without him waking me up first!)

But I keep doubting  God’s gift to me.

He has given me the greatest gift of all.  He has given me everlasting life.  He has removed the burden of sin from me.  I didn’t have to do ‘anything’ for this gift.  I didn’t earn it to begin with!  ‘It’ was given to me by God’s grace.  See?  Am I just muy loco en la gigante’ cabeza or what?

All I have to do now is reach out and take it.  I just have to let go of my fear and trust in the Lord Jesus.

But to do that, I have to put down my anchor.  I have to dig in.  I have to, for the first time in my life stake myself to a doctrine of Christian faith and STAND FAST.

If I am to be a man of God I have to be ‘convicted’ and prepared to defend that position when needed.  And what’s more, to share that position with anyone in a manner that demonstrates my complete and total submission to God’s will and my trust in Him to both protect and provide for me.

He has already given me ‘The Gift’.  I just need to reach out and take it.

Well, there you go.  That’s where I am.  How’s it been going with you?

Sincerely,

Roscoe
A Christian in Training