Howdy everyone,
Back in May of last year, I wrote a post about Forgiveness. A reader recently read that article and sent in the following comment. (You may want to refresh your memory and reread the original post. It’s available here.)
Dear Roscoe,
I read your letter about “Forgiveness”. In your letter you ask the question, “. . . can I just pray to God that he will give me the strength to just ‘Let go’ and move on, and to help the person that has wronged us? Or do I really need to find this guy (that I really don’t want to see or speak to) and tell him ‘I forgive you’ face to face?” I believe the answer to all 3 of your questions is YES!
Question # 1: Can I pray to God . . . to ‘let go’ and move on? Yes, because of the very reason yougive which is that we cannot counsel others if we have the sin (yes, sin) of unforgiveness in our own hearts. You probably wonder why I call this a sin? Because it keeps us from proper fellowship with God as well as fellowship with others! Jesus said: “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24 NKJV
AND
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11:25-26 NKJV. The fist verse talks about us hurting someone, and the second verse talks about if someone has hurt us. In either case, it’s important that we forgive and as forgiveness to have a clean heart so that we can properly fellowship with God.
Your second question was ” . . . can I pray to God . . . to help the person who has wronged us?” Once again, the answer is YES! Jesus said; “You have heard that its said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for he makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?” Matthew 5:43-46 NKJV
Pray that your stepfather would come to know Jesus and would find forgiveness in His healing power through salvation. Your third question was, “Do I really need to find this guy . . . and tell him ‘I forgive you.’ face to face?” Once again, I believe the answer is Yes! You also said that you didn’t want to see or speak to him. Recall the story of Jonah, who God gave the difficult task of telling a whole, wicked city to repent? Jonah didn’t want to do it, so he had to go through a huge storm at sea and spend three days inside a great fish before he changed his mind. I do not know if your stepfather is still alive, but if he is, seek him out and tell him ‘I forgive you’ face to face. My belief is you will be blessed and my prayer is that he will also be blessed.
In writing this letter to you, I realize I also have challenges in my own life. The first is talking to my own Dad. I feel that I have forgiven him, but I am still moving very slow towards building back a good relationship. I know I have a very limited time with him, so I must make every day count. Please pray for me in this task and I will pray for you in yours.
May God bless you and Cindy,
Your brother & fellow ‘Christian in Training’
Wow. I have some work to do. How do you guys feel about this?