Roscoe here, Christian in Training.
Like I was saying, I continued to come to Church.
And there I was, questioning God even more. And I came to Sunday School and learned a little bit more each time. I joined the church. This church that was so different than any Church I had ever been to before. I became a ‘SMO’. Some of you may know what that is, I didn’t. But I learned. It means; ‘a Sunday Morning Only’ person. Yes, it is a bit negative in tone and a bit judging. But, that kind of a title didn’t really bother me that much. See, I really didn’t want to get that involved in the church anyway.
But, somehow I started to come to evening church on Sundays and Wednesdays.
But still I doubted and questioned everything. Not the existence of God. Oh no, I had no doubt that God exists. It was the existence of Jesus Christ that I questioned. Sure, there is enough historical documentation to indicate that a man named Jesus Christ existed, but I was way too smart to accept that he was really ‘The Son of God’. 
It had to be a case of someone following a cult leader, after all we’ve had our share of those in our lifetime; Jim Jones, David Koresh, the Moonies and many more. You see I think I am pretty smart. Little did I realize at the time that was one of the things that was holding me back from becoming a Christian in Training. It was not the fact that I didn’t believe in Jesus Christ, it was that I was too proud of ‘Me’ to humble myself and admit that maybe I didn’t know everything for sure.
I had pride. I just didn’t have faith in Jesus Christ.
Over the past few years (Before I became a Christian in Training.) People I have respected have used Bible verses and I didn’t even know it. A friend of mine in a farewell letter to us coworkers wrote the following passage;
’Finally, my brothers, whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received,
and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.’
Sure, you know it. It’s Philippians 4:8-9. But at the time I didn’t and I thought, ‘Man, he has some real class to be able to write something as beautiful as that.’ I also later learned that this friend was a devoted Christian. Now that I know what to look for, I can see that. He was (Should be ‘is’, he is still on this side. I speak with him periodically.) always a humble person. While very intelligent he always listened to other people and treated them with kindness. He always was quick to forgive others who had wronged him. He worked hard and always seemed to be very happy with the life that God had given him. In our politically correct society and especially in corporate America you are not supposed to ‘impose’ Your religious views on others. So while he couldn’t testify about his love for Christ, but he showed his love in the way he carried himself through his job and his life.
Later on, a friend of mine a few years ago taught me the ‘ten fingered prayer’; you know it I’m sure: ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’ Philippiians 4:13.
I still love those two verses, but I love a few more now though. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
One thing that kept bothering me, was how ‘intellectual people’, (Like me right?) Could believe in Jesus Christ. My friend that I spoke of earlier, my doctor who is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met is a devout Christian. But why? Surely they would fall on the Darwinian or Sciences side of this great quandary. But many don’t. they just actually ‘Believe’ in God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit and Eternal Life. Whoa…
But finally, I had an epiphany.
You’re not going to believe this, but I was driving home from Church on a Sunday evening and it finally hit me. Faith! Faith is the idea of believing in something without proof of its existence. 
Where can you get faith? You don’t get it from anywhere. It is something you do! You just have to believe and trust in God. I just had to make that first step without proof. I just had to let go of everything I thought I knew and just Believe!
While I know it sounds simple, it was a concept that had me stymied for a long time.
From the Editor:
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